Reply to daughter upset at al the teachers yelling

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm really sorry; this sounds rough. We all love our kids and it's hard to see them feeling hurt and then acting out about it.

If it were me, I would try to dig a little deeper into when the yelling occurs. For example, is it behavior-controlling yelling on the playground? Is it yelling during snacktime? (I worked at an after-care program and the director was a total dictator about behavior during snack. I could not understand why, but she was just an irritable tyrant, and I'm sure she scarred some of these kids.) Maybe you could just happen to pick your daughter up during one of these times and witness it. I'd also talk to any of the other parents if you can to gather info.

Then, I'd try to meet with the principal and focus my requests on a few targeted elements of the after-care/recess program. Sounds like s/he brushed off your inquiry in the past, and I'm sure principals would rather think about anything than aftercare, but too bad. You can come with the explicit info of, eg, "It sounds like there's an expectation that kids be silent during snack, and that it results in a lot of yelling. Do you think we can approach the program director about this and see what they need for that part to go more smoothly? Do they need smaller tables, fewer kids, more staff on hand, or just to adjust the expectation that kids eat silently? I know they must want calm during that time, but I feel like we need to reduce the amount of yelling that results." I'd thank the principal for anything s/he could give me here and say I'd call back in a week to see if s/he talked to the after-care director and how it went.

In the meantime, I'd also clarify with my daughter that while I'm really sorry she's stressed, and I want her to tell me about what upsets her, she can't bring that kind of behavior home.

I hope that's useful in some form or another! Good luck!! [/quote]

Thank you for these suggestions. I will do just this. [/quote]

As a parent EOTP myself, do not be surprised if YOU get yelled at when you go in with the above list of helpful suggestions. I would be more likely to try my best to get her out of there. Since it's before count day, I would get on the phone TODAY and call any public or charter school that has a commute you can handle. Some schools just have a culture of this and the adults don't have enough education or experience themselves to realize that constant yelling doesn't gain you anything.[/quote]

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