Anonymous
10/21/2014 10:31
Subject: daughter upset at al the teachers yelling
Anonymous wrote:8-6
Holy crap - that's your problem right there: your child is putting in a 10 hour day. You are an adult and you would find 10 hour days unsustainable. It's unreasonable to expect that of a 6 year old.
If there is a lot of yelling at the school, then it's a low-quality school. However, that's a secondary issue. Find a better school, but more importantly, find a better life. You are asking too much of your child.
Anonymous
10/21/2014 10:30
Subject: Re:daughter upset at al the teachers yelling
I worked in a an EOTP school that was like what you described. What stands out to me, OP, in your initial description of the school is that the principal is not setting the tone that children should be treated with respect. That is just unacceptable.
At my old school, teachers and aides (not all, but many) constantly yelled at the children, doled out really harsh punishments for the slightest infractions, and simply ignored some disruptive children who just wandered the halls during the day because I think it was easier for them to not have them in class. It was so bad that I quit without another job because I couldn't stand listening to the teachers scream at the kids. After witnessing a particularly egregious incident that I considered both verbal and physical abuse, I reported it to the principal the following day. He shrugged it off and told me that he had already heard about the incident from the teacher and it wasn't as I had described and told me that the child -- a six year old -- was threatening the adult so the adult's reaction was warranted. I quit the next day. Should I have stayed and tried to help the school become a better place? Maybe. I really felt bad about leaving the kids I worked with, but my very low salary was not worth the terrible working conditions I had to put up with.
At my old school, teachers and aides (not all, but many) constantly yelled at the children, doled out really harsh punishments for the slightest infractions, and simply ignored some disruptive children who just wandered the halls during the day because I think it was easier for them to not have them in class. It was so bad that I quit without another job because I couldn't stand listening to the teachers scream at the kids. After witnessing a particularly egregious incident that I considered both verbal and physical abuse, I reported it to the principal the following day. He shrugged it off and told me that he had already heard about the incident from the teacher and it wasn't as I had described and told me that the child -- a six year old -- was threatening the adult so the adult's reaction was warranted. I quit the next day. Should I have stayed and tried to help the school become a better place? Maybe. I really felt bad about leaving the kids I worked with, but my very low salary was not worth the terrible working conditions I had to put up with.
Anonymous
10/21/2014 09:59
Subject: daughter upset at al the teachers yelling
Anonymous wrote:janney called me in mid-september for first grade, yes. she wasn't crying then about the yelling or i might have tried harder to figure it out.
yes, true, it's the recess and aftercare that are the main issue. i will try to pick her up earlier than 6pm when i can
You kid got into Janney OOB and you can't make it work? Im sorry thats nuts. You get into Janney YOU MAKE IT WORK. Especially if your option is a substandard EoTP school. I am IB in petworth and I would get up two hours earlier each day if it meant I could get my kid to Janney and by extension Deal and Wilson.
The yelling sounds like very poor management on the teachers part. But I don't doubt there are a lot of wild kids. The stuff I see on the playground in my neighborhood is troubling enough. Seriously 6 and 7 years olds screaming the N word and F -off to each other. I can only imagine where they are hearing that so often that this is considered normal conversation. You need to get your kid to Janney.
Anonymous
10/21/2014 09:41
Subject: daughter upset at al the teachers yelling
Anonymous wrote:She is getting yelled at personally and in a group. The teachers like to be controlling for no apparent reason. For example, I was there one day when the kids were lining up for recess (not her class) and the teacher said to get their coats. One boy said he didn't want his so she yelled to get his coat. He had on an undershirt and a long-sleeved shirt so he didn't get it. She yelled again and he said he'd be find without it (and granted it was about 50 degrees, not 20) and she screamed, "I am not ASKING you, i am TELLING to GO GET YOUR COAT NOW!!!!" Totally uncalled for , imo. Why not have him suffer the natural consequences of being cold if he chose not to get it. The point is, I find that the teachers there just want the children to jump and not have a mind of their own. I know that at times children can't be left to make their own decisions but that situation seemed over the top.
She gets yelled at for any number of things like this I suspect.
I hate hearing this kind of stuff, too. FYI, after-care teachers tend to be really low-paid, around $10-$15 an hour, and as a result do not have a lot of skills and training (if they did, they'd probably have better jobs.) Many of them are probably mimicking the discipline approaches their families used on them. It may not be what everyone wants their kid to hear, but in some communities, it is the norm and it is considered being appropriately tough rather than "soft." Obviously, it's not what DCPS is aiming for and I still think you should talk to an administrator, but again, this is where those teachers are getting their approach.
Anonymous
10/21/2014 09:20
Subject: daughter upset at al the teachers yelling
Yes, I'd call janney back and explain your situation and beg and plead.
Anonymous
10/21/2014 09:01
Subject: Re:daughter upset at al the teachers yelling
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm really sorry; this sounds rough. We all love our kids and it's hard to see them feeling hurt and then acting out about it.
If it were me, I would try to dig a little deeper into when the yelling occurs. For example, is it behavior-controlling yelling on the playground? Is it yelling during snacktime? (I worked at an after-care program and the director was a total dictator about behavior during snack. I could not understand why, but she was just an irritable tyrant, and I'm sure she scarred some of these kids.) Maybe you could just happen to pick your daughter up during one of these times and witness it. I'd also talk to any of the other parents if you can to gather info.
Then, I'd try to meet with the principal and focus my requests on a few targeted elements of the after-care/recess program. Sounds like s/he brushed off your inquiry in the past, and I'm sure principals would rather think about anything than aftercare, but too bad. You can come with the explicit info of, eg, "It sounds like there's an expectation that kids be silent during snack, and that it results in a lot of yelling. Do you think we can approach the program director about this and see what they need for that part to go more smoothly? Do they need smaller tables, fewer kids, more staff on hand, or just to adjust the expectation that kids eat silently? I know they must want calm during that time, but I feel like we need to reduce the amount of yelling that results." I'd thank the principal for anything s/he could give me here and say I'd call back in a week to see if s/he talked to the after-care director and how it went.
In the meantime, I'd also clarify with my daughter that while I'm really sorry she's stressed, and I want her to tell me about what upsets her, she can't bring that kind of behavior home.
I hope that's useful in some form or another! Good luck!!
Thank you for these suggestions. I will do just this.
As a parent EOTP myself, do not be surprised if YOU get yelled at when you go in with the above list of helpful suggestions. I would be more likely to try my best to get her out of there. Since it's before count day, I would get on the phone TODAY and call any public or charter school that has a commute you can handle. Some schools just have a culture of this and the adults don't have enough education or experience themselves to realize that constant yelling doesn't gain you anything.
Anonymous
10/21/2014 08:43
Subject: daughter upset at al the teachers yelling
OP, that is totally unacceptable. I have a child in a suburban program for ED children and I have never seen a teacher raise their voice (in crazy situations you could not imagine).
I would talk to the aftercare supervisor.
I would talk to the aftercare supervisor.
Anonymous
10/21/2014 08:23
Subject: daughter upset at al the teachers yelling
This is abusive behavior and the school sounds like it has developed a culture of yelling ( at least at recess and aftercare). The excuses people are making here: rowdy kids, too many kids, free aftercare have no merit whatsoever.
Appropriate reaction to a child not putting a coat on is a calm but firm reminder that coats need to go on. No coat, no recess. Why don't you sit quietly here in the classroom or office while your friends play outside. A teacher would only need to do that once or twice before the kid would give up the defiance and put on a coat.
It is the teachers job to deal with problematic student behaviors in a calm, supportive and caring way. And the teacher needs the support system of the whole school because it isn't easy.
There is no way I would keep my child in an abusive environment like that after I made every effort to address the problem with those in charge.
Appropriate reaction to a child not putting a coat on is a calm but firm reminder that coats need to go on. No coat, no recess. Why don't you sit quietly here in the classroom or office while your friends play outside. A teacher would only need to do that once or twice before the kid would give up the defiance and put on a coat.
It is the teachers job to deal with problematic student behaviors in a calm, supportive and caring way. And the teacher needs the support system of the whole school because it isn't easy.
There is no way I would keep my child in an abusive environment like that after I made every effort to address the problem with those in charge.
Anonymous
10/21/2014 08:02
Subject: daughter upset at al the teachers yelling
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op, you have no idea how the entire school
Of kids behaves. Any group of 6 year olds can be 'unruly' and the fact that you don't see that is significant. Also- the aftercare at your EOtp school is likely free. You get what you pay for...
Yes, aftercare is free which is why I can't make too many waves (someone can easily take my child's spot) but still, come on.
OP, don't believe this. Aftercare may be free to you, but someone is paying for it and you shouldn't think that you need to accept what is offered just because you don't pay for it. The aftercare caretakers get paid - they aren't volunteers - and so should be held to the standards set by the aftercare coordinator.
Anonymous
10/21/2014 04:53
Subject: daughter upset at al the teachers yelling
Anonymous wrote:Op, you have no idea how the entire school
Of kids behaves. Any group of 6 year olds can be 'unruly' and the fact that you don't see that is significant. Also- the aftercare at your EOtp school is likely free. You get what you pay for...
Yes, aftercare is free which is why I can't make too many waves (someone can easily take my child's spot) but still, come on.
Anonymous
10/21/2014 02:45
Subject: daughter upset at al the teachers yelling
Op, you have no idea how the entire school
Of kids behaves. Any group of 6 year olds can be 'unruly' and the fact that you don't see that is significant. Also- the aftercare at your EOtp school is likely free. You get what you pay for...
Of kids behaves. Any group of 6 year olds can be 'unruly' and the fact that you don't see that is significant. Also- the aftercare at your EOtp school is likely free. You get what you pay for...
Anonymous
10/21/2014 00:19
Subject: daughter upset at al the teachers yelling
I'm surprised after care doesn't include time on the playground.
Anonymous
10/20/2014 23:44
Subject: daughter upset at al the teachers yelling
Anonymous wrote:You mean to suggest, some kids have a problem listening and following directions?
And that the adults whose job it is to wrangle these kids like a herd of cats don't have all day to keep patiently and calmly repeating themselves over and over and over and over in the vain hopes that the kid might actually listen and do what they are asked, as opposed to calmly putting up with a half hour of backtalk, disrespect and nonsense?
Well, I am just shocked. Shocked, I tell you...
</sarcasm>
I get what you are saying (this is OP) but it's not that. the kids aren't a wild, unruly bunch becasue they have been broken into submission in preschoool and pre.K.
I have in some privates where they ask the kids calmly and the kids are rude and disrespectful and obnoxious and act foolish. The kids at DD school are not like that. They are just normal kids for the most part but if htye don't jump immeidately when the teacher asks something they start screaming and carrying on. Trust me, no one wants to deal with a bunch of rowdy rude kids but that is now what were dealing wtih
Anonymous
10/20/2014 23:40
Subject: daughter upset at al the teachers yelling
You mean to suggest, some kids have a problem listening and following directions?
And that the adults whose job it is to wrangle these kids like a herd of cats don't have all day to keep patiently and calmly repeating themselves over and over and over and over in the vain hopes that the kid might actually listen and do what they are asked, as opposed to calmly putting up with a half hour of backtalk, disrespect and nonsense?
Well, I am just shocked. Shocked, I tell you...
</sarcasm>
And that the adults whose job it is to wrangle these kids like a herd of cats don't have all day to keep patiently and calmly repeating themselves over and over and over and over in the vain hopes that the kid might actually listen and do what they are asked, as opposed to calmly putting up with a half hour of backtalk, disrespect and nonsense?
Well, I am just shocked. Shocked, I tell you...
</sarcasm>
Anonymous
10/20/2014 22:58
Subject: daughter upset at al the teachers yelling
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The problem is that you leave a 6 year old for 10 hours a day. That's shitty of you. What kind of a life is that? Now wonder she is on edge.
Don't listen to to this troll! Like most people have a choice!
Most people do choose, you chose where you live. You chose your lifestyle. Many people live on less but you chose a different standard of living. Own it.
You and dh could stagger hours. There are options. Maybe you chose careers that aren't flexible. You chose that. You are not a victim.
If I was a kid of most of you posters I would pray to be at school 10 hours a day rather than be with a nasty mother like you.