Reply to DH Forces Me to Be His Secretary

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know how else to describe it, but my DH won't do anything unless I remind him to hundreds of times. We are in our early 30s so it is not an age issue. He just always overextends himself so I'm forced to keep track of everything he has going on in his life- his work schedules, our social schedule, things he is supposed to do around the house, promises that he's made to other people. Literally every evening and every morning I have to ask him what he has planned for the day and then spend the rest of the day reminding him not to forget to do certain things.

For example, tonight he'll tell me that he has to work (he doesn't work a traditional schedule), go to a doctor's appointment, pick up his dry cleaning, and give someone a ride to the airport. This means that all day tomorrow, I'll have to remind him to complete each task or something won't get done. This gets super annoying when it relates to a task he has to complete at home because if I don't remind him, then it doesn't get done.

It's a pain for me to have to manage my life, his, and our infant's.

Anyone else have to deal with something similar?[/quote]

He might have ADD.  You are probably a godsend.  Be happy you make a practical difference in his life.  [/quote]

As someone who manages my ADD without medication,  this was my thought as well.

Hpwever, the DH needs to stop behaving like w child and the OP needs to stop being his mother/martyr. This is a disastrous dynamic for a married couple.

I live and die by my calendar. [b]We have a family calendar and every.single.activity including when kids school projects are due go in there.[/b] If an activity is not in there, I will miss it. Same at work. EVERYTHING goes in my outlook calendar. Yes, I sometimes miss things. Yes I sometimes annoy the shit out of my Dh, but nobody should be babysitting a 37yr old grown ass adult. If he can't handle ways to work around potential ADD he needs to see a doctor and start popping the amphetamines. [/quote]

Where is your calendar? We have discussed putting a big whiteboard in the kitchen where he can write everything down. I think the only challenge is that sometimes he agrees to do things with/for people and doesn't tell me about it and then right when we're about to do something else, he'll get a call from the person wondering where he is and that throws a wrench in the day.[/quote]

Gmail for oir family calendar. Work supplied for outlook.[/quote]

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