Reply to how much to give as present for bar mitzvah?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]it is wrong to give so little, at least 36 but 50 or 54 is more appropriate from a school friend all adults should give at least 100, trust me your meal is way more than that. If you cant afford to send your kid to so many, then be a little more choosey, but don't be cheap. poor taste[/quote]

Let me see if I get this straight, if my Christian child is invited to a friend's bar or bat mitzvah, I should give 36 to 54 to offset what the parents spent on the party?   I just don't think that is appropriate advice.  I appreciate the religious significance but when a child starts inviting non-jewish school friends from and the expectation is give large cash gifts is ridiculous.

I know of these huge hotel bar mitzvah's with Dj's, bands, video game entertainment companies, open bars and huge dinners for adults, so if my child is invited to one of those big fests I should kick in a $100.  Sorry but the big party is your choice, not mine so don't invite non-jewish friends if the money is that important.

[i]"If you cant afford to send your kid to so many, then be a little more choosey, but don't be cheap. poor taste"[/i]  is probably the shocking advice I have heard for children in a long time.  So a thirteen year old has to turn down invitations so that they can give LARGER cash gifts to the ones they decide to attend?  Unbelievable.

[quote]wow. as the parents of a recent bar mitzvsh boy: first, the meal we served wasnt any hundred dollars. we kept the thing csual and jewish. second, i would be so disappointed and perplexed if someone didnt come because they couldnt afford what you think is appropriate. i threw the party so that the people we love could share our joy.
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^^^^  This is the bar mitzvah I hope my children are lucky enough to be invited to.  My kids have super sweet and thoughtful Jewish friends and I doubt any of their parents have such mercenary money grubbing expectations.

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