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[quote=Anonymous]
I think the the idea of planning the Thanksgiving holiday at their new place would be excellent, and you could truthfully say you are just too exhausted with the new baby to do so.  But you would be glad to bring a dish.

Your folks must come from aboard and stay in your home so that is different.  And DH can note that to his folks that they just naturally will see much more of the grandchild.
Since it is stressful with your ILs not respecting your wish to speak to your baby in your language with your folks there, too, it is best to keep them apart.

It might make the transition a bit easier on the ILs if you did just use English at times when it is just the four of you together with the baby.  It is not the end of the world, and it might be a nice concession to them, too. 
Whether it is you or DH, you are going to need to establish boundaries AND to also recognize that you will then not be able to back track and necessarily request their child care help should you decide to return to work.

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