Reply to He punched me in the leg. Did I provoke it?

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[quote=Anonymous]So so sorry, OP.  Ive had things close to this, but not quite this. Emotional abuse, toxic things said, screaming at me at close range getting in my face. I had to navigate the incredibly difficult terrain of being completely financially dependent on someone who had somehow lost his mind.

I dont know if this helps, but had he ever struck me like that, it would have been the end. And I say that from experiencing things that would scare most reasonable people if they knew of it.

In our case, DH is unbelievably better after being treated for depression. Still far from what would be best, but gone are the rages and the emotional abuse from which I am still recovering.

However, he would not have gotten that chance had he struck me. I am sure you must be very scared at the scope of reality you are confronting. Understand this: You are SEEING things as they are. You probably have been waiting for a sign that there is hope or no hope.

I think the best answer is that the combination of his actions, his completely airtight conviction that you pushed him to it, and his willingness to blame you to your child indicates that right now there is absolutely nothing reasonable to work with at all. This is toxic and will not change. I think you know that, but also know that you dont need to have all the answers right now. You just need to know what you know now: this is not going to work, and you will need to leave.

As to what the future holds beyond that, it is up in the air. However, I think, from what I have read, it appears that the actual striking of a spouse is just crossing the line. I do understand why you gave the detail you did- context of it scenario. My heart really goes out to you, in fact I am fighting back tears because that could have been me. And I am one strong person, but it would have scared me terribly. Not just for the action and for the state of the marriage, but the knee weakening prospect of just how far gone my husband was at that point.

I think he could have gotten to that point. He went pretty far downhill.

OP, do you have resources? Do you have a place you can go for at least a few weeks? THats what I would be looking at if I were in your situation. ITs not a long term solution but you need to get away and give him time to see his actions in the context of you not being around to blame and see what happens next. What he comes up with in his own head in your absence, and what he communicates to you in that contexts are currently probably not even possible to speculate on, from what it sounds like to me.

I think that is the next first step.

OP, (((big hug)))) here, I am devastated to read this. But you have your head on straight. THat will save you and your children.[/quote]

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