Reply to My MIL finally admitted she thinks her son is "perfect"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you shouldn't be sharing with her, complaining to her, whatever you are doing.

Something has prompted this

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OP here.  Wish I could remember what prompted her to say that, but I do not.  Our conversation is always innocuous, I know better than to say anything of substance to her.  I was so stunned (she said this in the presence of my husband) I turned to my DD (who isn't even two) and said sorry girl, you are not perfect but you will always be good enough for mom!

I think her "perfect" comment stems from the comment she has made since our DD was born.  She makes it a point to tell
ME each time she visits how wonderful it is her son is so involved with DD.  I have tried to handle this in various ways, but she loves to repeat it.  I know my husband is a wonderful person (I married him!) but sorry, co-parenting isn't an above and beyond behavior.  [/quote]

OP sorry but you sound like a 3 year old in making such a big deal of a fairly innocuous phrase. my ILs have been married more than 50 years and still love each other very much, and my FIL has always be a hard worker and good provider for the family. but they had a very traditional marriage, where he was the one working a job, mowing the grass and fixing things around the house, and she was the one raising the three kids, cleaning and taking care of the home. my FIL still says proudly that he has never changed a diaper in his life. my DH is very involved with our kids, I always worked longer hours and he was the one dropping off and picking up from daycare, and we shares all chores, cleaning, cooking and taking care of the kids. you can bet that my MIL think her son is perfect, she probably wishes she had some help from her husband when their kids were little, but those were different times, not many men were doing household chores and taking care of kids. you should grow up. and frankly telling a toddler that she will always be "good enough" for you does not sound very nice [/quote]

OP here.  It's not an innocuous phrase when  her praise for her son's involvement in DD's life in a part of each conversation over a two year period.  I could lament my "perfect" DH doesn't make enough income to solely support our family.  But I do not, because I have better manners than that (and in all honesty, I do not want to give up my career).  I am just annoyed that women can so readily expect women to bear the brunt of the childrearing even in situations like ours where there are two full time working parents.  I have said in a nice way "I know you have a great son - I married him and had a child with him.  I would never have procreated with him if he wasn't willing to be 50/50" but that isn't enough to get her to drop it.

And the point of me mentioning I have a toddler was so no one thought I was telling an older child she is just "good enough".  It was a one-time way to politely tell MIL to cut it out.  Although, I stand by my point thay no one is perfect and my DD will need to learn that, and that I have unconditional love for her.  I think telling children they are "perfect" is a slippery slope.
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