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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you making it worthwhile for her when it does happen?

[/quote]

Yup. I love going down on her. My biggest challenge in that regard is calibrating when "make it a quickie" means "let's have a pleasant moment & it doesn't always have to be a marathon" versus when it means "once she's in the mood, make it worth her while." Having a quickie would be easier if we were having sex more than once every two weeks.

I ask her what she likes and make sure to tell her that if she wants to try something, I'm game for whatever. But she's not very communicative. The 50 Shades period got her to open up enough about liking a little spanking or hair pulling. I tried pushing further to see if there was something she'd like that she wasn't comfortable talking about; but when I tried lightly grabbing her throat and being told that was too "rapey" - that scared me off pushing boundaries too much.[/quote]

OP, you aren't doing anything wrong.  Women, on average, need sex less than men, and women in long term relationships want it even less.  Exceptions apply, of course.   Anyway, your wife doesn't want to have sex with you.   Join the club.  Nothing you can do will change that, so stop internalizing it.  My best suggestion is to get in the best shape of your life so that you will at least feel desired by other women.  Maybe getting into better shape and being more confident will make your wife want to sleep with you more.  You will eventually have to chose between cheating, divorcing or being sexually unsatisfied.  Or perhaps your libido will fall as you age and it will become a non-issue over time.

Good luck.[/quote]

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