Reply to Anything a father can or should say to 14 yo dd about boys

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Simple:  Teenage boys are driven by hormones.  They will say anything and to anything to get off.  Be careful.[/quote]

When people say this, they are basically saying, "Teenage boys are potential rapists who think of girls as a collection of body parts."[/quote]

PP here.  I am male.  I know this typical.  I am not saying they are Rapists/Potential Rapists, but they will pressure for sex....there is a difference.  The message is not that men are rapists, it is that hormones are powerful.

If you do not believe that, you have never been a teenage boy.  [/quote]

So...you're saying all teenage boys will pressure girls to have sex? That's simply not true. Raising children to believe it is true allows boys to believe it's acceptable ("it's just hormones!") and out of their control.

I dated boys, married one, and am raising two of them. I also had an amazing father who never, ever suggested to me that this is how boys are or that girls have some additional responsibility to fend boys off because boys just can't help it. He helped me navigate relationships (with boys and girls) in a million simple ways when I was growing up. Which meant that when I was 14 and asked out on a date (by a very sweet boy), my parents and I were able to have an honest, productive conversation about it. My dad initially didn't want me to go, but we talked for a long time about it--what the date would involve, the kind of person he was, what it meant to "date," etc. And my father ended up agreeing to let me go.

The reason we could have that conversation, in the moment, is because my parents taught me how to make good decisions and to believe in my own value rather than lecturing me with scary stories about boys.

OP, I think this is less about specific conversations about boys and more about cultivating a really strong relationship with your girls. That's the way to ensure that you can have meaningful, productive conversations with them about the different challenges that arise in their lives.

(Also, encourage them to play sports. Coach them, if you can.) [/quote]

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