Reply to When did you decide it was time for an affair and did it help your marriage?

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Reply to "When did you decide it was time for an affair and did it help your marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Husband here in very similar position to OP, but not considering cheating.

Part of the problem is the negative results of brinksmanship.  I don't want to threaten my wife with divorce (or an affair) to convince her to have sex with me any more than I want to threaten her with violence.  So I tell her I want more sex, but I leave out the "or else."

Not to rain too much on a parade, but when I see suggestions like in the prior post to have date nights and romance her, I think they're just very naïve.  I wouldn't be venting here if I hadn't tried those things.

And wives in this position who just wish their husbands would romance and try to seduce them, think back to how you got in this dynamic.  I spent many nights over many years trying to romance and seduce my wife only to get rejected.  Fool me once, shame on you.  Reject me 1,000 times and don't turn around and expect me to try time number 1,001.  You need to initiate a lot of sex first, then only after that, tell me you want to be seduced.  And then fuck me every single time I seduce you.  No excuses.  Then, and only then, I will start putting in that effort again.  Until then, you've beaten me down and you have to live with the consequences.  Don't blame me.  Sorry for the vent.

/s/ good dad, sensitive and kind husband, who lives in a sexless marriage with his best friend.[/quote]

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