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[quote=Anonymous]OP, it sounds to me like you handled this well.   You know your sister well enough to question her about the loan, and to request proof.  It sounds like you were calm and reasonable and she backed off immediately and the issue went away.

If the estate has been settled, seemingly with no glaring discrepancies, and you have figured out a way to have a relationship with your sister that you are comfortable with, then good for you.  I would let the money stuff go.  You sound pragmatic, realistic, and smart about the limitations with trusting your sister, and it sounds like she doesn't push the boundaries with you routinely.

I have several close family members (thinking specifically of a brother and father) with whom I have limited expectations.  I simply can't trust or rely on them in certain areas, but they are my family and I love them.  I maintain relationships with them in a way that doesn't expect more than they can offer, and doesn't make me vulnerable to being harmed.

It sounds to me like you're doing a good job of that, so my advice would be to put the estate stuff behind you.  You're not likely to get some tidy resolution from a conversation with your sister, nothing will change what has already been happened, and no great financial harm was done - right?  That's a pretty good turn-out in the circumstances, no?

Good for you.  I think you're handling it very well.[/quote]

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