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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DS is 10 and we talk to him matter-of-factly about what it will take to be considered for a top college. We have also begun to take steps to position him on that track.

I'm not sure that being candid about this to him and engaging him in the discussion is tantamount to active "pressure."  Maybe passive.  I'm cool with that.  He has big professional dreams of his own -- which he can discuss intelligently and without prompting -- and as an adult with more life experience I know damn well that he can't just show up the fall of junior year and announce ok! Ready to work and get going on that college package.  Well, he could, but certain doors will be closed to him. [/quote]

You sound crazy.  Poor child...[/quote]

He's really happy and visibly well adjusted actually, but thanks for your internet concern.

You know how most boys,during a certain period of their lives, imagine that "someday, I'll play NCAA/pro  football basketball soccer baseball, by golly!!!!!"  They do -- just admit it.  Typically between ages 6-11 for the doomed pro team dreams, and up to age 18 of course for certain Division I, II, dreams.

And their parents, while not explicitly  legitimizing their dreams to play running back for the Dallas Cowboys (or in other zip codes, play for the Olympic soccer team) absolutely take all kinds of actions to nurture these pipe dreams. Travel teams, development camps, tournaments where scouts will be oresent, skills camps with semi private coaches just ahead of spring tryouts for travel team XYZ.  Home Run Baseball camp, MDX lacrosse,

Somehow, all of above is seen as healthy and appropriate and it's ubiquitous.

Why is it "sick" and "sad" when instead of putting a football in your 10 year old's hand and sending him off to development camp for a week you instead put a microscope in his hand and send him off to Budding Biologists sleepaway camp instead?   Explain.   No really, try it.

Because that's all we are doing with DS.  And his dreams involve marine science instead of the NFL.  [/quote]

You sound crazy because he's 10 years old for goodness sake.  If you and your spouse went to college, then at 10 he knows he going to college and will be prepared.  Filling his head covertly or overtly with dreams of Ivy League and how to prepare for it at 10 is really silly and creating unnecessary pressure whether you want to see it that way or not.  My DH and I grew up in working class and middle class families, respectively, who expected the best of us, which including going to college.  Both of us got into well respected colleges and professional schools.  We don't talk to our children about going into law, medicine or business like we are in but are expected to do their best.  They talk about college without us planting thoughts into their heads.  They know we don't live the way we do by being mediocre and not having ambition.  It goes without saying.  I did not seriously consider colleges until 9th or 10th grade.  And, when my husband and I were growing up, they didn't have college tours.  We talked to friends and relatives who went to great colleges about their experiences.  And, our kids will have the same opportunity to talk to young adult friends and relatives about college including my husband and I.  They also play sports and if they get academic and athletic scholarships, all the better just like DH and I.  Let your son enjoy childhood without researching colleges at 10 and having intelligent conversation about professional aspirations.  Again, you sound crazy...[/quote]

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