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[quote=Anonymous]When I saw your header, my first though was "they must be Chinese."  I don't know why, but this is very common in the Cantonese speaking families I know (ie my relatives).  I understand that it is a shitty situation for you, but I think it's going to be extremely tough to change. And for all the people suggesting you learn Cantonese - that's crazy!  If you were going to put time into learning an extremely difficult language, it should be something useful!

My cousin married an American and the while family just chatters away in Cantonese at dinner every time they're together. I think she keeps him looped in
When it concerns him, but mostly even she ignores him. And when their baby gets older, baby will probably ignore him too. He's very patient and accepting and basically feels that he's had a long day and he's happy to eat in peace without being nagged or lectured or whatever's usually going on. I only know this because I asked him if these meals were torture for him. I'm sure no one else in the family cared enough to ask, but I'm the only really American member of the family. I don't think it even occurs to the east of them that he might be bothered.

I don't know how to bridge the gap for you
When you're obviously NOT okay with it, but I have trouble imagining them changing based on how my relatives act. If you read a book you'd probably be much happier.  The crazy part is my relatives all went to college in the US!  They could easily speak English around my cousins husband. Better yet, my parents often speak Mandarin to each other at dinner specifically so my husband and I can't understand them. And my dad is American!  My husband gets really pissed, but there's not much I feel like I can say it do about it.   I will typically not indulge them when they speak Cantonese to shut him out (I speak crappy Cantonese but no mandarin), but I don't translate either because it's usually the dumbest stuff. Like complaining about the service in a restaurant with American servers or some other dumb complaint. [/quote]

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