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[quote=Anonymous]Hang in there.  Once we got my MIL into a nursing home and she adjusted, she loves it there (minor complaints) but it was horrible during the time she was here toward the end and she initially refused the nursing home.  It got much better for us but it was hard.  Now she doesn't want to move back with us thankfully.

Get her on wait lists.  Apply everywhere you can.  Call and ask anyone and everyone for recommendations and suggestions (like you are doing here).  That is how I got the help.  For weeks I was on the phone and computer for hours a day trying to figure it out (like you are).  Do not wait as some have a six month to year or longer wait list.  In the meanwhile, charge her rent and/or take over her finances if they are an issue and get her evaluated.  Try Hopkins or even just a regular neurologist for a dementia screening.

You aren't alone but very few people are caretakers in this area and most families have money to private pay for help, housing and other resources.  We really struggled but we made it work and you can too.

If she has dementia, her being difficult is not her being difficult.  It is all part of the dementia.  She is as confused and frustrated as you are.  My MIL by the time she came could not cook, clean and do other basics.  She had to be remind to shower and would forget to wash her hair so I could dry it for her.  She used to keep her home spotless.  Its hard when they change.  The worst is in-between when they know but don't know.  And, having the same conversations over and over and over again.  Or, when my MIL said some mean things to me (my husband overheard it and confronted her and she had no idea she even said them).[/quote]

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