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[quote=Anonymous]I'm coming at this from what I suspect is a similar place as you OP, but my corollary to the advice to "listen" is "don't judge".  After a pretty bad relationship through most of my childhood, teenage, and college years; in some ways my relationship to my parents is the best it's ever been.  I do actually willingly pick up the phone to call them.  But it's typically with a bit of ambivalence, since I don't know the reaction I'm going to get when I tell them something.  My parents just have an impossible time not letting you know exactly what they think of decisions you've made/what you're doing/how you're doing it etc.

Your kids are so tied up in your own self-worth that I do understand what starts the spiral, but this is the one area that I've almost been training myself to be prepared for when my child(ren; currently we have an only infant) get older.  I have hopes and aspirations for her and what I believe giving her the best start in life will entail, but she may not agree with or want any of it.  And I'm going to have to trust myself enough to raise a good human being to be able to trust that whatever path she decides to take in life is the "right" one for her.  I think this is what my parents never really got...and ultimately probably led to my making less than ideal decisions.  They didn't trust me regardless, so why should I behave responsibly?[/quote]

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