Reply to Ways to make life move forward when everyone else is having babies and you aren't and probably won't

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Reply to "Ways to make life move forward when everyone else is having babies and you aren't and probably won't"

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[quote=Anonymous]There are some really helpful posts on here from people who have been somewhere near where the OP is now. I haven't really, so please forgive me for offering a perspective.

But I just wanted to say that I have a brother who was unable to have children - he met his wife when she was in her mid 40s and they tried IVF but after m/c and more they opted to stop trying. For their own reasons, they did not want to adopt. I was incredibly sad for them for a long time; I can't tell you how great they are and what wonderful parents they would be. And our parents are dead, so I felt guilty because I know they might have done something to help (lend money, offer advice) that might have changed the outcome. I felt like I had failed in their place.

But I've come to realize that my sibling and his spouse made this decision and seem to be very much at peace with it. And yes, they are happy and their lives are by no means shallow and they are beloved by and deeply involved with 4 nieces and nephews' lives as well as by other extended family members. I can tell they are glad to leave though after a long visit with us - they like their life the way it is right now. They have a happy ending, and even though it isn't the one I would have chosen for them, the same could be said of my life too despite the fact (or perhaps even because of the fact) that I have kids.

I'm not trying to minimize the sorrow of the OP or others, I just wanted to say that it is possible to get through this and find that your life is no less rich and full of love than that of others who happen to be parents. [/quote]

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