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[quote=Anonymous]NP here, and I totally get it.  My MIL chain smokes and she reeks.  I can smell her for literally days after she leaves the house.  When we'd go to her house, we'd have to immediately strip off all our chores, soak them in vinegar, and shower.  It's not at all the same smell as someone who smokes even a pack a day.  A chain smoker's smell is deep in their skin and hair, way beyond washings.  They can't smell it.

I have permanently damages my relationship with my MIL because her simply offering to smoke outside, or not smoke at all during a visit, was not enough for me to be comfortable with her holding our baby, who was a preemie.  She wanted to come over every day during my maternity leave to hold him while I pumped milk, and I  just couldn't do it...you can smell her from three rooms away and the thought of all those toxins being breathed into those tiny delicate lungs...I couldn't do it.  To keep the peace, I did of course let her hold him here and there for 5-10 minutes at a time, but I'd pretty quickly come up with a reason to take him back.

In our experience, I'm sorry to say, wearing a fresh shirt or a cloth hospital gown didn't make much difference.  The baby himself would reek, even with just a diaper on, after being held.  In retrospect, I probably would not have pushed for the fresh shirt because it didn't help much but it embarrassed her.

I survived growing up with 2 smokers but I now have asthma and bad allergies.  I am not this neurotic about the baby among more casual smokers, like my SIL, but a chain smoker is another level entirely.  I completely understand your concern.  I'm sorry that the outcome for me has been that my MIL seriously dislikes me.  I'm not sure I would go back at my baby's expense and change much more than the shirt thing though.

If I were you, I would definitely insist on a hotel.  [/quote]

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