Reply to Friend's wife doesn't like me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My best friend from college is a man. We've known each other for over 20 years and when I was married, he was close to both me and my husband and I have been there for him numerous times over the years with all kinds of personal and professional help. Now my friend is married to a woman from another culture and she does not like me and does not want to spend any time with me. My friend is very close to my children and plans activities that involve them- offers to take them to the movies, but without actually saying so, he refuses to plan any activities with ME- also including his wife and/or other people! I'm not trying to move in on this relationship; I just miss my friend. I was hoping that if we all spent time together, she would mellow towards me but I can't seem to make that happen. I've tried to talk to my friend about it, but both times he got really mad at me for bringing it up. Any advice or am I at the point where I'm going to have to start grieving what was once a very close and supportive friendship?[/quote]

1. [b]The different culture thing probably plays a big role in the situation....and there isn't much you can do about that.[/b]

2.  For some people that have never been in a situation like you and your friend, they don't understand that the opposite sex can have strictly platonic relationships.  So when the enter a relationship, and their spouse has a very close opposite-sex friend, it may throw them off.  So it may take some time for that person to fully trust the situation.

3.  Growing up I had a lot of male friends (I am male) that would fade away when dating someone new.  But once that relationship ended, they'd be coming back around more often.  I never held it against them because that is just how things work sometimes.  A true friend will be there no matter what.  If that means a few months/years of not being as close as normal...oh well.  A true friend will be there.   [/quote]

BULLSHIT. Different culture has nothing to do with this. So stop the hypocrisy.  It doesn't take long for a platonic relationship to become romantic. We've all had male friends growing up. The flavor of friendship changes once you get married and/or your friend does. Like one of the PPs mentioned you interact with them as a couple and within boundaries that doesn't undermine that bond. I find it hard to believe that the wife came claws drawn at OP. Maybe there is something about OP that makes her insecure and guard her relationship with her dh more. This is normal for both men and women, who are in love. OP has to accept that and move on.

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