Reply to Friend's wife doesn't like me

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm a single, attractive woman. When you were married, would you be cool with me going for coffee with your then-husband? Going for a hike? To the movies? In this scenario both your H and I state we are "just friends". Yet you feel uncomfortable about it. What happens next?

I appreciate your sense of loss for your friend. Your sources of adult support are very important, and I'm sure your kids miss him. But I don't understand women who are married (or who've been married) who don't understand the importance of prioritizing the married dynamic. Just bc you don't have romantic feelings for your friend, doesn't mean he doesn't have, or hasn't had them, in the past. Maybe he confessed said feelings to his wife. Maybe she's just uncomfortable overall and needs to know that her H values her opinion. Regardless, as person who's walked down the aisle you must know that sometimes you must respect your spouse's feelings, even if they don't make sense to you.

Fwiw, I've never been married, but have lots of couple friends that I've know for 10-15+ years. Several of these folks are people whose children I'd raise, and vice versa, if we ever came to harm (we've talked about this). And I'm still careful about my interactions with their husbands. Not overly so, but I make sure my girlfriends know that my connection to them is to them as a couple. This is what I'd want in their shoes.

Handle this gracefully and respect your friend's current situation. It may change, or not, but this is where he's at. [/quote]

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