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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a woman who had an affair.     My husband forgave me.    I forgave myself.     I have done much to deal with my personal issue that caused me to do this horrible thing.    We have tried to repair our marriage.   We are now planning to divorce.      I don't think the affair caused the failure of our marriage.  I think the marriage was over before I started the affair.  I was weak and scared.    And I put my husband through undue suffering.

Forgiveness is more a gift to yourself than to your husband.   I do think that in some cases marriages can get stronger and survive after a affair.     I have heard of many men who cheat again and again.    In fact the man I had the affair with cheated on his wife before he met me, cheated on her with me, got caught,   and I have recently learned that he was with another woman when he was with me.

That said,  I can honestly say I would not have another affair.  It was the worst freakin thing I have ever experienced in my life.     I felt like crap every single day.

So I don't have an answer for you.      Do what feels right for you.  Don't stay just for the kids.  They will be ok as long as you do what you need.

peace [/quote]

The important thing is that you forgave yourself.[/quote]

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