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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks to the 10:42 am poster in particular for the great answer, as well as others for their constructive responses. I agree with you profoundly, across the board (your description of the downward spiral is particularly apt).

We are willing to go along with the kabuki show of "diagnosis" as you suggest, much as it sticks in the throat. We are just looking for someone who has a similar skepticism about the whole way these developmental differences are being handled but who can interface with the school and use the "magic words" so our son can get what he needs. Many of the non-drug interventions the school has rolled out have been inappropriate because they are based on the same distorted expectations (are we really going to get seriatim nasty notes because his locker is a mess? He has no problem finding things).

The problem we have found so far is that most educational psychologists make their living from the current system (with all its terrible ethical distortions and make-believe pathologies) and -- perhaps unwittingly -- are not honest brokers. Our goal is to construct a developmentally appropriate strategy for our son, going forward, in collaboration with someone who actually knows something about boys and their developmental pecadillos (and I realize this is not a problem limited to boys). We can then put it into whatever terminology makes the school happy and proceed. But first we need some help with an appropriate strategy.

I should add that we are at an independent school[/quote]

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