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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I am the PP who first recommended David Masterman.

Let me give you some sincere advice: if it does get into heavy litigation, then you need someone like DM for sure. But before you go all the way into a war with your husband, you need to make an assessment as to whether he is the kind of guy who would want to screw you financially. If he is not and if you have decent handle on the assets you have jointly and individually, think in terms of what an equal split of those assets would work out to for each person. See if you can come to a general agreement on how this should be split and then it can be formalized in an agreement.

Issues like child support and custody should be resolvable. The former is done by formula in VA based on what each person is earning. The latter would be a given in most cases unless there was abuse involved.

You have not identified all of your assets but the one that is potentially complicated is the value of your husband's business. This would require a professional to come up with a valuation and you would definitely need legal help.

I suggest this approach because once you get lawyers involved in every issue, it will become protracted and will cost you both a fortune - money that would come out of the assets available for distribution between you and your husband.

[b]Now if your husband cannot be trusted to level with you about the finances and you don't have any knowledge of the details, then you would have to totally rely on lawyers and determining the facts through depositions and discovery.[/b]

[/quote]

I agree with this. But I especially agree with the last lines. Women, including myself, always say things like, "Oh, he's a cheater, but he will always support me and the children. He wouldn't lie about money." And lawyers say, "Everyone says that, and then in six months, they realize that they are lying about money." And then of course the lawyers are right.

It's all about Character. Cheaters and addicts don't have strong moral codes and this is displayed best in a divorce.

So just keep this in mind, OP. I don't know the details of your divorce, but divorce is UGLY, and you need to protect yourself, assets or no assets, cheating or no cheating, or whatever. Just protect yourself legally. You won't regret it.

[/quote]

Thank you, two pps. It's been 48 hours and I am in the sucker punch/feeling like I'm going to throw up phase.  I am still in utter disbelief--esp the quick and severe anger and personality change right before my eyes.

He's incredibly intelligent and I used to think loyal.  I wouldn't put anything past him now...[/quote]

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