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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents think my wife has taken me and the grand kids away from them.  In reality, I work very hard and very long hours and barely make it home to my house to see the kids before bed since I don't see them in the morning. So trying to see my parents for dinner three times a week just isn't going to happen.  I also usually have obligations on the weekend for my work, so even Sunday dinners are now nonexistent.  My wife now takes care of all of the bills and my mail when my father used to. He yelled at her that he takes care of these things until I chose her.  For some reason he is bitter about this.

My wife thinks my father is too controlling and my mother is cold. My father will usually argue or fight with her over things he wants and not listen to her. For example the car seat. My wife bought a new one (a booster of some sort I think) for our 5 year old.  She told my dad she has outgrown the other one and is not safe. He won't listen to her and refuses to transfer the car seat. So they politely battle at it every time.  
My mother's mother called her fat while pregnant and my mom just sat there while my wife cried and to this day finds nothing wrong with the situation at all.

My wife is shy at first but very affectionate.  My parents think she is rude but I don't think they have really given her a chance.  I think it's all a big miscommunication and I will admit I put the onus on her.

The last straw was when I caught my father in a few lies about her behavior and he texted her with a sly smart ass comment. She told him to not contact her anymore but to go through me, but they would be respectful to each other in person and with the kids.  No one has ever stood up to my father and I didnt think that she would do that.  They haven't spoken to me since, this in Feb. Until my mom texted to see the kids this weekend.  My wife didn't tell my mom not to call or visit so I am upset with my mom that she jumped on the bandwagon like she always does.

[/quote]

OP, you and your parents are 100% in the wrong here.  Your parents are emotionally abusive.  Your wife has the right and the obligation to choose what car seat her child uses.  You as her husband and her partner should stand with her and support her.

You know very well that your parents are unreasonable.  Your wife has drawn a healthy, reasonable boundary.  Your parents' reaction is over the top, narcissistic, and emotionally abusive.

You need to be a man, be a grown-up, and stand with your wife.  Let your parents know they are being unreasonable, and when they are ready to be loving and respectful, they will be welcome back into your life.  Wish them well in their new home and focus on making things up to your wife.  You have allowed them to abuse her for SIX YEARS.  You need to focus on repairing her trust in you and salvaging your family.[/quote]

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