Reply to Help- advice needed regarding leaving a note for family member who smells

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with PP - maybe talking to your mother isn't the only thing. Also talk to your husband and children, explain that grandma is old ad forgets to shower sometimes or that she's afraid of water or whatever the actual reason is.

As for your mother: really talk to her about it. Stop hinting. Stop assuming. Sit down with her and say it out loud "Mom, I need to talk to you about your personal hygiene. I can see you're not showering regularly and I am wondering why?" If she doesn't answer, ask more specific. If she explains herself, even better. "Are you worried you will fall?", "Can you not reach your hair by yourself?", "Would it help if we had a shower chair so you can sit down while showering?"

Find out why she's not showering - you said it's only been going on in recent years ad is not something she has ALWAYS done. So something must cause the change of behavior. Maybe she just needs someone to really listen to her without prejudice and wanting to help.[/quote]

I agree wholeheartedly.  She is clearly embarrassed based on her comments and avoidance so a gentle approach is needed.  I think you need to point out as kindly as possible that it is obvious she is not taking care of personal hygiene.  She may not realize just how much others are noticing.  At first I was thinking perhaps she was nervous about falling, etc or perhaps not sure how to manage in a different setting (working the dials, etc) but it really does sound sound like it's something different.  Another thing to consider is that she may not launder her clothes enough.  Body odor can really linger in clothing.[/quote]

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