Reply to Your ("straight") husband is trying to f*ck me (gay guy). What to do?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Your ("straight") husband is trying to f*ck me (gay guy). What to do?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, there's something else.  This happened to me before I was married and I am going off memory, but I bet the lawyers here can correct if my language is wrong--but you will get the gist.

The "repeated" or the "over a period of time" part of the harassment claim starts *after* you've *clearly* stated that you want him to stop the behavior. But to just say it, privately between the two of you--well there's no proof. It becomes a "he said/he said" situation (he said/she said).  He will say you were ambiguous and never told him to stop, so it doesn't constitute repeated unwanted behavior.

You need to email him something that is a clear request to stop, and then save the email.  Go find the requirements for the jurisdiction of your workplace (DC, VA, or MD I assume).

This email could be a friendly, "Larlo, I was thinking about our conversation yesterday, and I just want to make sure you understand that while your advances are flattering, I am not interested in any sort of physical relationship with anyone at work, and/or anyone in a committed relationship.  I just want to make it clear that I want you to stop your advances so we can continue to have a productive and professional working relationship.  I plan to put it all behind us and not mention it again.  Thanks.  OP"

Don't just say you are not interested, you have to say he needs to stop. (At least that was true in MA when I had to do this).  Also, I added the last sentence to let him know you are not running to HR right now so he has no need to freak out about that.  (Now HE might run to HR to say you are the aggressor, but you've got that time stamp on your email so it will be clear he did that after you sent your email.)

Look up the statute and make the email as soft as you like but include what you need to make it a piece of proof.

The other way to go is to have a witness, but…yikes…and then witnesses often "forget" if they actually think they'll be dragged into something.

Keep us informed, OP, and good luck.[/quote]

That is great advice. Thanks. I'll definitely do this[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics