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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP didn't ask for input on whether on not she should invite her father, stepmother and step-grandmother.  She has already decided that she does not wish to do that.  It is her family dynamic, and therefore she is entitled to decide the terms on which she expresses her love and gratitude or lack thereof towards her elderly relatives and step-relatives.  I hate how there are two settings:  outright abuse=cut them off completely, or lack or outright abuse=do whatever they want because they are family.

OP, whether or not you think deep down that maybe your father should have been included, the fact that he found out and is now pressuring and guilt-tripping to get his way says to me that the answer must be NO.  Full stop.  Do not make a "replacement" visit to placate him because it will only feed this behavior.  "We made plans that are based around the children.  We were not able to invite you this time, but will consider doing things differently in the future."  If he goes into how he won't be around much longer, etc., the answer is, "If you don't feel you are getting enough time with the grandkids, you are welcome to come visit us at home.  As for Brother's kids, why not ask when would be a convenient time for you to get together with them?"  If he has the means and physical ability to visit, and wants to see you this summer, then it is in him to make that happen.[/quote]

Don't feel the need to lie. It's true that your stepmom may have hurt feelings, but you have a couple months to figure out some ways to show that you do appreciate her, her cooking, etc. But that THIS vacation is centered around sibling bonding and cousins bonding. End of story. Firm, gentle, honest.

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