Reply to Back me up on being the mean, mean mommy

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[quote=Anonymous]My child has a hard time getting rid of things. One thing that helps her is when she's cleaning to have solid steps. She throws away all her trash (she decides what is trash). She puts away things that have a place. What's left is the stuff she has to sort through. I've suggested different ways that she handle things, such as pile things in "really want to keep" "not sure about" "might be willing to give away" piles, and start with the "most import" stuff first. She does something like that, but it's chaotic and not something I can be involved in because it stresses me out. She has baskets she can put things in while she thinks about them. This helps her, because she doesn't have to make an "immediate" decision. She's also over time gotten much better at realizing that something has been in the "might be willing to give away" bin for a month and she really is ready to give the item away.

For us, her math test would have gone into her "current years school work box" which is a box I keep of the current years school work. At the end of the year, we go through and create a binder of the things she and I want to keep. Her build-a-bear box would either be put away if it was something that had a place, or it would go in one of her piles of things to find homes for.

3 hours would be too much for my child to be able to focus on cleaning effectively, and indicates a large enough job that she'd likely have problems even getting started. My child only tends to kick me out when my priorities and hers aren't in synch (see above where I can't be part of her deciding-what-to-do-with-things). It sounds like something similar might be going on with you and your child. I would be unlikely to take away an event with a "surprise! you must clean your room!" that my child wasn't aware of. My child doesn't react well to things like that, she likes to be able to plan her own schedule (it makes her feel grown up). I would probably tell her that I hadn't realized her room had gotten to be such a disaster, and I'd like her to devote 30 minutes a day to cleaning it, until it was done. With the understanding that that thing we were going to do 2 weeks from now would be postponed if her room wasn't cleaned by then.

(Our standing rule is that the room has to be clean before she invites friends over to play. That helps, because her room doesn't get too out of control between friends coming over.)[/quote]

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