Reply to If you were physically unable to intimate anymore, would you be ok with spouse getting it elsewhere?

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Reply to "If you were physically unable to intimate anymore, would you be ok with spouse getting it elsewhere?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They should get therapy. BIL doesn't know that SIL wants to leave him. Maybe he is misinterpreting the situation. He appears to feel worthless as a spouse. He is likely depressed. They should get some professional help. [/quote]

OP here.  BIL has been very "fortunate" and "lucky" in some regards in that he is able to do all he can now because things worked out that way.  I've often thought of other people in his situation who don't have anywhere near the monetary benefits that he has which has allowed him to make his life a bit easier.  They are both in individual therapy and have been since the accident.  I might suggest couples therapy so they can talk things out together. [/quote]

Op, it worries me a bit that your BIL is putting his wife up on a pedestal like he is.  Your SIL might be a fine person but I'm not seeing where she is giving her husband much, if any, emotional support.  He's feeling like a bad, worthless husband right now and her actions pretty much tell him "Yes.  You aren't everything to me anymore."  It just seems very cruel to me and even emotionally abusive because he feels like less of a person than she is.  That may sound harsh, but that's what it sounds like to me.

Make sure that BIL knows what an amazing job he has been doing, what a good person he is and how very much he is valued and loved.

[/quote]

I'm sorry, you cannot armchair their relationship with very few if any intimate details of their relationship.

I will not judge, most all relationships dissolve after a tragic event like this. Check out the statistics. I'd say the BIL is a pretty graceful guy and the SIL not a villain here.[/quote]

You're right. I don't know all of the details here, the history of this couple, what they agree is/is not a deal breaker, etc.  There are lots of missing details.  It was the pedestal that BIL seems to be placing SIL up on that doesn't seem completely healthy. Like maybe he's depressed and she is feeding that depression.  I hope that's wrong, but it does happen.[/quote]

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