Reply to S/o How can you minimize the chance your kid will get into drugs in high school?

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Reply to "S/o How can you minimize the chance your kid will get into drugs in high school?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wonder how many of you have teens.  Advice like "don't let them hang out with the cool crowd," as if parents can or should dictate a 17 year-olds friends.  Or the idea that you need to schedule them up so they don't have the opportunity.  There is a big downside to over scheduling kids , not to mention that in high school they have more control over their schedule.  There are plenty of kids in afterschool sports with heavy course loads, who also experiment with drugs and alcohol.  Or the idea that kids who dabble must have some relative setting the example.

You can't erect a wall around them, which is what all this scheduling is trying to do.  The most important thing is communication.  And you won't have good communication with your child if you have such a simplistic sense of whats out there and how to deal with it.

Stats don't lie, most kids experiment.  And most come out of that experience just fine.  I am NOT condoning it, but I think you need to accept that fact and then decide how you are going to deal with it.  [b]And you have to understand that ultimately you are not in control[/b].[/quote]

+1  I have read all the responses, about keeping children busy, spending family time with them, etc., and I would have thought they sounded like good ideas, until I became one of those parents who was shocked to learn that their child was using drugs. I can tell you that a lot of kids feel that pot use is no big deal and that it is less serious than alcohol use. I'm not talking about kids we may have called 'stoners' in our day, I'm talking about the kids on the soccer, lacrosse, and baseball teams, honor roll, AP and IB students, kids who you would consider to be leaders at their schools. These are kids who DO have dinner with their families at night, who DO have 'involved' parents, who do everything that one would think would possibly prevent drug use by their kids.

Unless you are constantly with your kids, you have no guarantee that they aren't experimenting or using. They could be doing it after sports practice, after work, when they are at a study group, at a friend's house, or when they go to a sporting event or a school dance with friends. If kids want to use, they will find a way, and the only thing we can do is make it harder for them to do so.

Parents, let your teens know in no uncertain terms that how much you disapprove of drug use and that you DO feel that using pot is a big deal. Point out to them the legal consequences of getting caught with drugs, and how it can interfere with their college plans and future job prospects. Even the smartest teen doesn't always consider how their carelessness could impact their future. And if you do find out they are using, give them consequences and make them earn your trust back.

And, yes, remember that it really is ultimately out of your control. When your child goes to college, they will be doing what they want, when they want, and that is a tough thing to learn to accept. But you must.
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Bingo to this. I also take every opportunity to talk about the many famous actors & singers who are dead or messed up from drug use. I use it as a learning opp, same with why are people homeless. (Often it's due to drug or alcohol abuse). We watched HomeAlone & they asked about McCulkey Culkin. I showed them a particularly nasty pic of him when he was ravaged from drug use, and they recoiled, asking what happened to him. "Drugs," I said. "It's so sad. People mess up their lives with drugs."[/quote]

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