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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To be clear, too, NONE of this was my idea...wait, no, Christmas dinner was.  But it's DH who came up with the idea of having MIL host from here.  And he has hated going to her house for years, but never had a place or the inclination to host his family himself until we created a nice home together and he felt more comfortable hosting people.  So this was a big deal for him, like a coming of age this or something.  He also has said that his mother is miserable with hosting...she stresses and complains about it for weeks, and she's a nervous, anxious wreck on the day itself, never even sitting to enjoy peopel's company.  He hoped maybe coming here could take the pressure off...she couid maybe relax more and enjoy her kids and grandkids rather than running around picking up used dishes and fretting about dips and drinks, etc.  But apparently his mom just isn't interested in him playing that role, or is threatened by me taking on that kind of role. I don't want the baby in a smoke-filled house and thought our space would be more comfortable for a crowd, and DH shared those feelings, but his impetus was greater than mine.  He really hoped everyone, especially his mom, would enjoy it more.

Anyway, I appreciate both the empathy and the pushback - its been interesting to read other perspectives.[/quote]

I really hope your DH and his mom work out the issues.  It sounds like hurt feelings on both sides.  I'm still curious if this means your DH will never bring the baby by his mom's house? [b] I'm all for making it easier on mom and wanting to start hosting but it still feels like an unspoken ultimatum given to the mom wrapped in a blanket of doing it to help her.[/b][/quote]
Exactly -- if MIL was passive/aggressive, OP was as well. [/quote]

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