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[quote=Anonymous]OP here, surprised to see this thread revived!  FWIW, no one from DH's family came here Christmas morning, no.  Just Christmas Eve.  Christmas Day was the day that I has invited people here to dinner because I knew his family never usually did anything special on Christmas Day, and that's my family tradition and one way we intend to celebrate with my son, so I wanted to include all the local family and family from out of town in the invitation.

My BIL and spouse were v excited about the dinner, because his spouse had said how much Chritmas Day had been a downer in past years without a dinner or any sort of celebration on the day, so although I figured DH's mother and sister would stay home to relax, watch TV, and smoke in peace (which is perfectly okay as far as Christmas traditions go, whatever makes you happy on a happy day!) I figured FIL, BIL, and spouse would come.  It wasn't till they were all leaving on Christmas Eve night that DH found out that his mother was planning on making her own Christmas dinner ever and expecting all the family but us to be there.  BIL and spouse were mortified and apologetic, but felt that MIL's was basically a command performance.

To be clear, too, NONE of this was my idea...wait, no, Christmas dinner was.  But it's DH who came up with the idea of having MIL host from here.  And he has hated going to her house for years, but never had a place or the inclination to host his family himself until we created a nice home together and he felt more comfortable hosting people.  So this was a big deal for him, like a coming of age this or something.  He also has said that his mother is miserable with hosting...she stresses and complains about it for weeks, and she's a nervous, anxious wreck on the day itself, never even sitting to enjoy peopel's company.  He hoped maybe coming here could take the pressure off...she couid maybe relax more and enjoy her kids and grandkids rather than running around picking up used dishes and fretting about dips and drinks, etc.  But apparently his mom just isn't interested in him playing that role, or is threatened by me taking on that kind of role. I don't want the baby in a smoke-filled house and thought our space would be more comfortable for a crowd, and DH shared those feelings, but his impetus was greater than mine.  He really hoped everyone, especially his mom, would enjoy it more.

Anyway, I appreciate both the empathy and the pushback - its been interesting to read other perspectives.[/quote]

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