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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]do I keep them?  Return them?  Donate them?  Send a thank you?  Ignore them?

We've been on bad terms with my in-laws for many years because they have no idea how to respect boundaries (see above).  We recently moved, but I guess FIL got our address from a non-estranged family member.  Which, whatever.  But sending gifts to my kids when you're not even in a position to call them?  That feels really invasive and rude, in the same way that a lot of FIL's behavior has been disrespectful of the boundaries Husband and I have set (clearly, in writing, repeatedly).

I was raised to send a thank you card when I receive a gift, and I feel a bit obligated, but part of me wants to ignore the jerk as this seems really manipulative.

Advice?[/quote]

How far away do they live?  If they are pedophiles or convicted felons exchange the gifts and send no note.  Generally creepy but not convicted exchange the gifts.  No note.  Simply wanting more participation in your lives, bossy, domineering, exchange the gifts and send a note.  In that case also consider keeping the gifts and changing the card to from santa ... all depending on the cause of the estrangement.[/quote]

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