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[quote=Anonymous]Op here. Glad others can relate? It sucks that there are so many selfish SIL’s, but yeah, I think there is something about this area.

Honest about every word. You don't have to believe me. I feel somewhat bad for my brother, I don’t think he realized that he married such a high maintenance and entitled woman. But it’s not my problem. I’ve done enough, and my sympathy's run out for both of them. I expect him to take his wifes “side," that’s the way it normally should be, but this is screwed up. He subtly complains, but I can't go along with it. I really miss spending time with nephew, but I don’t want to be a part of that kind of selfishness. It’s not worth being around people who really, truly, only see you for what you can do for them, and nothing more.

My brother is pretty good about acknowledging the past help - but SIL is silent and angry about me stopping. I know it’s just my word on the internet, but I’m definitely not jealous of her. After giving her the benefit of the doubt for so long, I’ve realized there’s not much to like about her at all - except her hair. I will admit she has nice hair.

I haven’t “confronted” her. I’m not sure what there is to confront - when you do a tremendous amount for someone and make all the effort, at some point they have to return the effort at least 5%. This isn’t a conversation you have a  with an adult woman, it’s something you learn in kindergarten. If someone doesn’t realize that now, is there any point in discussing it with them? Would it really be productive? The rest of SIL’s family is awesome though, so I don’t know what went wrong.  The rest of us lucked out in the IL department - DH is an only child, but his parents are basically happy hippies. My other brother’s wife is one of the kindest people I've met. Our sister died several years ago, but we still stay in touch with her partner at the time. She’s somewhat flakey sometimes, but has a heart of gold.

I’m not really dreading Christmas but I’ll maintain the short and quick niceties with SIL. I was the first to RSVP, so we get the better room this year. SIL will have to make do without the ensuite bathroom - she’ll probably complain, but I will not cater anymore. She’ll probably passive aggressively mope about not being able to eat much at dinner, but also not contribute anything to the meal. Thank goodness we stopped doing gifts for a adults a long time ago. And thank God for wine.

It is what it is.

I’m sorry for venting. The blinders are off, and my patience has really been worn thin. Hopefully she’ll wake up one day and realize that her behavior isn’t sustainable. 
 I’m so sorry for those of you that are in similar predicaments with a family member. It’s extremely frustrating. 
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