Reply to 26 and never had a boyfriend - what the hell is going on?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dear OP,
I am a 40 year old Indian woman, now married and with a child.  I was raised JUST LIKE YOU and my 20s sound like yours!!  Conservative, yet not religious, highly educated, tons of friends, pretty, outgoing, etc....I can make a few recommendations.

1. Self confidence is key.  Fake it until you really have it.  Men love confidence (not arrogance!)
2.  Lose excess weight, if you have any.  On the other hand, gain a few pounds if you are too skinny.  Go to the gym and get fit!!  Men don't like too fat or too thin.  I know this is superficial, but I am trying to give you very practical advice.
3.  Start doing activities that you enjoy where you might meet men (volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, join a club etc)
4.  Ask your friends to set you up on dates.  Ask your most trusted friends to tell you honestly how you can improve your chances of meeting someone (i.e., what you need to change about yourself) and take their criticisms constructively. 
5.  SMILE!!!  Practice this in the grocery store, at work, etc. This makes you approachable.  BE FRIENDLY and observe women who seem to have tons of men around them.  Do what they do -- smile, laugh easily, touch an elbow, be kind to everyone, and do not judge others.  
7.  BE CONFIDENT!  You are so young.  I wish I had not worried as much as I did when I was your age. All I wanted was a boyfriend.  Now I realize 26 was the prime of my life and I should not have worried about anything....and should have focused on enjoying my youth!!  Try to have fun!!  I hope you find happiness :-)[/quote]

+1! OP, this is the advice to follow. I'm a 47-year-old (non-Indian) women who is bookish and shy but still found a DH and had kids following the exact same formula. There a lots of great guys around! (Above all, please ignore posters who are mean or tell you to get a "boob job" because I can tell that all you need is to believe in yourself.)

Here's another bit of advice. Don't be afraid to ask a guy you like to coffee. It's not a date. It's just a chat. It's actually what my father told me to do with guys before I dated them "because any guy who won't sit down to coffee with you first is a jerk." Don't go too fast. Hookups don't work for women, not when I was 20, not when you were 20, not when my kids will be 20, either. You're not looking for hookups, you're looking for a relationship, so ask several guys of your choosing to meet for coffee and practice talking to them Decide what kind of man you're interested in and don't be afraid to be choosy. An educated, well-read woman brings many things to the table, and DC is full of equally educated guys who will appreciate you.

Above all, don't be thrown by misogynistic comments across DCUM because the DMV is full of intelligent, enlightened men who feel as overlooked as you sometimes feel. Reach out to a few of them and you'll find a guy you like. Go for it![/quote]

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