Reply to Do the adoptive parents "count" if/when the adopted child finds birth parent(s)?

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Reply to "Do the adoptive parents "count" if/when the adopted child finds birth parent(s)?"

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[quote=Anonymous]My sister was surrendered for adoption the year after my mom graduated from high school.  She was sent away in secret.  Fast forward 10 years and my mother was married with 3 other children.  My sister found us when she was 35 thanks to a carefully placed bribe to someone in Catholic Charities.  It has been a great gift to us to know her, but her mom has never forgiven her for finding us nearly 10 years ago.  They have barely spoken.  Unfortunately, my mom has pretty significant mental illness, and while she loves my sister, she's way too needy to offer much in the way of a mother role (I've always been her caretaker).  So my sister lost her real mother by seeking answers about her birth mother.  She got answers, but now she essentially has no mother.

My mother was never a threat to my sister's birth mom.  She's a terrible mother, albeit a wounded and generally gentle person.  If my sister's birth mom had not been so vindictive, insecure, and selfish, she could have let her daughter get her questions answered and just celebrated with her when she did.  Instead, she's cut off her nose to spite her face.

If you can't get beyond your fear of the birth family, you may not be a good candidate to adopt.[/quote]

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