Reply to About to lose it with my SIL! Will not stop comparing her children with mine!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Using SIL as daycare really exacerbates the problem.  Since she's dealing with one of your children all day, of course she feels the need to say something about the challenges she faces with them...and since she's not a trained professional, it sounds like she's ill-equipped to deal with child development issues outside of what she's used to.  Either open up and spell out very clearly what your kid's issues are and what your ped has to say about them, or (preferably) find other daycare.  I think space will help this situation.[/quote]

I guess I worded my OP wrong.

My 22-month-old doesn't have sensory issues, it's my five-year-old.  Five-year-old goes to school, and afterwards to a friends.  So, he is rarely being taken care of by SIL.

It's expected that my children were taken care of by "family" if I wasn't going to do it myself (essentially what MIL told me.)  I don't want to cause anymore of a rift, just a stressor.  SIL keeps DH sisters child too.  I'm sure the entire family would be offended if I took DS somewhere else.  With this baby I am trying to get a promotion to where I could work from home.  [/quote]

So you let your MIL dictate or strongly influence your child care decisions? Really?  Who cares what your MIL "expects"?  Any rift resulting from not putting up with that nonsense would be your MIL's fault, not yours.[/quote]

DH makes the financial decisions, and it's cheaper to have her watch them.  It's essentially out of my hands, thanks for your concern ladies but my question is directly related to fixing this relationship.[/quote]

Is your son getting quality care where he is?  If not, would he be better off somewhere else?  If so, what would be the ideal situation for him?

Every childcare situation has it's trade offs, OP.  With your SIL you at least get to hear everything and all sides about your child's day and he gets to play with kids that you know well.  At a daycare he would be one of many kids and you might not get such a personalized report but there would likely be a wide variety of interesting activities for him to do and lots of kids to play with.  A nanny might be just as annoying as your SIL but more expensive.  Staying at home yourself might not provide adequate socialization for either one of you and your own career marketability (earning potential) might suffer in the long run.

There is no perfect situation, we just make the best decision we can for our own kids.  [/quote]

I trust SIL as a caregiver.  She loves my children, and DS has a wonderful time with his cousins.  I'm not at the point where I want to take him to a daycare.  DH says I'm being to sensitive.  [/quote]

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