Reply to If you had Cancer How much help would you expect from you SO

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The experience of a cancer family when there are young kids and a cancer family when there are no kids is WORLDS APART. Please do not post about how wonderful your spouse was when you went through cancer, if you didn't have young kids at home. It just does not compare at all to what OP and her DH are going through.[/quote]

Fuck you. [/quote]

no fuck you, it's the truth.[/quote]

Here is the thing, Children have needs.  They can not take care of themselves. Dealing with cancer does not change the children's needs. A 2 yo has diapers to change.  A 4 yo needs help getting dressed.  [b]A ten yo may need help getting food for herself[/b].  They can not drive themselves places.

When I am dealing with treatment, usually, my sister comes in to help.  My wife and my sister split the activities -- one will be there for DD, and one will be there for me.  Most of the time, I do not need help, but sometimes, I have needed help at the same time DD needed help.  Now that DD is approaching middle school, things may be different.[/quote]

I posted earlier with the three kids-my 10 year old was THE WORST in terms of emotions.  He stepped up and helped out with everything, but he was a wreck.  He refused to discuss anything and would start crying saying he didn't want to talk about it...we always talked openly about everything so he "seemed" ok but the night before surgery I talked to him and was shocked to see how upset he really was.  He feared the surgery and was afraid the surgeon would cut my heart (breast surgery).  I later found out he stayed up both nights I was in the hospital even though I called him.  I guess he needed to see that I was ok.  Not sure what my point is but I guess remember that kids have feelings, sometimes even stronger bc they do not fully understand what is happening, so need to check in with them often during this process.[/quote]

I can see that. My DD was just 10 when my cancer was diagnosed.  She was sure I was going to die, and very upset.  She could help out, but no one was helping her.  [/quote]

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