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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have been married to my H for 18 years.  Our last DD is ready to go off to college.  We are a Foreign Service family, which has its ups and downs.  I feel most of the downs are on me - unaccompanied assignments, assignments to s**tholes, etc.  In any case, we are negotiating about our next and potentially final assignment before H is eligible to retire.  DH is pushing to take one last s**hole assignment because the money is good - 25% post differential, 25% danger pay and 15% service need differential.  The last is a lump sum payment paid of H completes a full three year assignment at post.  H's argument is that the money is simply way too good to pass up.  At his salary level, this means his base salary of $130K plus the above differentials for a total annual gross of $195K.  The service need differential would be a lump sum $55,500 at the end of three years.  With last DD off to college, he argues this is a way for him to meet all her college expenses and not have to borrow a dime.  He will make her borrow a token amount just to have skin in the game.

However, due to the negatives I mention above, I am deathly opposed.  I am tired of all the moving around, putting up with crap in the Third World, etc.  I feel I deserve some relaxing time in some place like Paris or Geneva.  H is not opposed to this, but wants to put the more hardship position among his top three.  Not only for the money, but because he says the job is better than the others that are available.

I realize it is only three more years, and then we can start getting out.  I am just not sure I can handle it another three.  [/quote]

You need to have a serious career and life talk with your husband.  You say he has been offered a DCM post, and yet you seem to be assuming that he will retire in 3 years as soon as he is "eligible".  This makes no sense to me.  If it were me, and I had a chance at a DCM post, I would most certainly NOT be thinking of retirement in 3 years unless I was already near the mandatory retirement age of 65.  I would want time to see if I could get a subsequent DCM posting in a better location or rise above DCM.

Also, I don't understand YOUR thinking about the hardship of the move.  This sounds like the first post you will move to without kids, which is a significant difference.  You don't have nearly so much to move (if you don't want to), you can enjoy the post without having to worry about kid issues like schooling and you will be able to take more time off for travel (with or without husband).  The pay bump would even allow you to travel back and forth to the US (or somewhere else) pretty frequently.

Frankly, the post danger pay and hardship differential are a GREAT benefit.  Many of the posts with the 25/25 danger/hardship you mention aren't that bad (i.e. they're not as dangerous as Iraq or Afghanistan) and the restriction lies mostly in potential freedom of movement restrictions (curfew, limited free range, potential for quick political deterioration, or potential criminal exposure, etc.) Most of us who work overseas love to get a 50% pay bump!  Not having to borrow (parents or child) is a HUGE benefit for college and retirement.  You won't be paying of her loans in your retirement, and she will have the freedom to choose an internship or career without worrying about paying back loans. My parents did that for me, and I am eternally grateful as it allowed me to seize unique opportunities I couldn't have otherwise afforded.

Honestly, you have a bad attitude for a foreign service wife.  I'm a little embarrassed to hear anyone representing the USG overseas refer to the place of assignment as a "s**t-hole".  I have worked in some "terrible" places, and what has always been true is that local people are lovely, our style of life is often more than we could dream of in the US (large homes, cars and extensive household help or an on-post cocoon), hardships are minimized to the maximum extent possible, and life and politics are fascinating in these posts.  There are often amazing R&R locales nearby (your husband mentions great beaches).  With the advent of the internet, we can stay far more connected to friends and family while we are away.  Overseas postings are what you make them, and you sound like you are not interested in making life interesting, which is a YOU problem, not a posting or Foreign Service problem.    [/quote]

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