Reply to DH quit his job

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "DH quit his job"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  What you are saying is makes no sense.  Guess what??!  I also hate my job as well that doesn't mean I'm going to go and quit. Do you think Bank of America, Washington Gas, etc give a crap about whether you love or hate your job?? Of course not, at the beginning of the month they want their money on time, every time.  Yes he complained a lot about his job, but my job is no picnic either and I go through moments of saying maybe I should just quit and live off the government.  I'm sure a lot of folks would love to just walk off the job right now.

I was all for him finding a better job but not quitting like this.  I even emailed him jobs on a daily basis to apply for and he did get quite a few interviews but nothing came through.  [/quote]

OP, you're right. He probably should have talked to you before he did this. But then again, its obvious to me why he did not. You would have told him not to do it. Then, he still would have done it and you would be even more furious than you are now. Its all well-and-good to say that your husband has a responsibility to discuss big decisions with you. He does! But you're not actually mad about him not discussing it with you, you're mad about his decision. And it was HIS decision. If he'd come to you and laid out all of the facts, you'd told him you advice him against it, and he'd still done it, he would have been totally within his right to do it. You think he has a responsibility to provide for his family until he finds something better. He apparently thinks like he can be a better father and husband if he's not miserable. Both are totally sane and supportable positions. Even if you had had lengthy discussions about this, you two would not have agreed. So he just went and did what he was going to do anyway.

Here's where you are now:

If you chew him out about this choice, he is going to feel abandoned and disrespected, and it will cause long term harm to your relationship. (I promise you that if your marriage does not work out, Exhibit A when he is complainign to friends about you will be: "I had to quit my miserable job and instead of supporting me, my wife made me feel like a terrible human being.") Meanwhile, it has absolutely no upside. He is not going to ask for his old job back. Nor is he going to get a new job sooner because you yelled at him.  All that will happen is that you will be in exactly the same position as you are now except that he will think you refused to support him when he made a momentus and difficult life decision.

As I see it, you have two choices:

1. Force a huge effing smile and tell him you're so proud he's moving on to the next stage of his career and you support him fully. Help him find a job and be upbeat along the way. See a therapist if you need to do so to help you stay positive. Then, after he's gotten a new job and has had some time to settle in, have a nice conversation with him where you say "I'm so proud of where you are now, but I wish you had gone about it differently in X ways."

2.  Divorce him.

Your pick. But the "being enraged at him but staying with him" thing is just not going to do anyone any good.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics