Reply to Please help me not hate my adult stepson

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[quote=Anonymous]It's a tough situation, OP. I'm with those who think that it's really between you & your husband - in a marriage, the couple are ideally each other's primary influences and you two together decide what you want your marriage to be.  When outside influences begin to intrude on that (especially when they have such a major impact, both emotionally and financially!), it's a problem and makes it super hard to be on the same page.

It sounds like you guys didn't have a real financial agreement (or at least to the level of specificity that you needed).  This guy came into the marriage with significant debt and with the way things have been going, his continuing to say yes is going to push you (as a family) into financial trouble.

What does your husband say if presented with the straight facts about income and budget line items for your household?  Like in as non-emotional as possible of a discussion?  If logic (like continuing to sponsor a son at $x per year when we have y income and z expenses) can't add up for him and - more importantly - change his behavior, then he's not going to stop overspending... and while I know I don't know anything about you except this thread, it seems like he has been pretty clear about his financial priority. :-(

What will you realistically need from him budgetwise (and possibly future planning-wise, like his pulling a fast one with the beneficiaries) in order to feel more stable? (And dare I add too, regain some trust in him...?)[/quote]

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