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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Forget it. Go to marriage therapy if you need to.[/quote]

But if you do this, you don't lord it over him for the next 5 years and have it erode your marriage slowly. If you think the end is splitting up, rip off the bandage today.

And, can I say ... ewwwww? I don't think I'd feel cheated on, but I do think I'd have a hard time with losing my respect totally for my partner. I mean, we all make mistakes, but ...... eeeeewwwwww![/quote]

That's bull about ripping off the bandage.  OP, you can control your recovery.  No one else gets to set a time limit on your healing.  Your DH should do whatever you ask of him that helps you, including marriage counseling, stopping drinking, etc.  The average time for a couple of recover from infidelity is 2-5 years.  You may well obsess over it, and that is okay.  He should listen, answer questions, etc.  He drove this train off the tracks; it is his responsibility to right it.  You don't have to make any decisions immediately.  Take your time.

And get over to survivinginfidelity.[/quote]

Being perpetually angry and lording it over him for the next 5 years isn't going to help matters.

If her healing is going to take 10+ years and she is going to lose all desire/respect for him? Then they're better off apart. [/quote]

Who said perpetually angry?  Who said lording it over him?

Are you perhaps a cheater who has failed to help your spouse heal?  Because you sound unbelievably defensive.[/quote]

And you seem to find cheaters under every rock. I have not kissed another women since meeting my wife 15 years ago. It may be lack of opportunity on my end; it may also be that I don't put myself in a position to have opportunity. [/quote]

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