Reply to Please help me not hate my adult stepson

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[quote=Anonymous]DH's excuse seems to be that he can't stand firm or his son will just go to his mom's and DH won't see him.  DH needs to be willing to sacrifice his time with his son in the now for his son's best interest later.  If his son keeps bein shielded from the effects of his choices, he is going to spiral farther and farther from a happy, successful life, and possibly get himself into serious trouble.  DH can keep doing what SS wants in order to maintain a relationship now, or he can say, "I love you, but you will have no more money from me until you have a goal to work towards, be it college, a career you love, starting your own business, etc.  but there are no more gifts and no more bailouts."  If he does that, SS will hate him and refuse to see his father for years, but if/when he finally realizes that living this way forever isn't going to take him anywhere he will actually have someone to turn to.  Inthe mean time, keep setting aside that money and when DS finds his way out o this extended adolescence you will have something to contribute (or when he gets some poor stupid girl pregnant you will have something for your grandchild).[/quote]

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