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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Based on your post, brother would be 21 so why isn't he driving yet?[/quote]

He's 21. The not driving is another issue related to his mental health. He lives at home, doesn't go to school, doesn't work, doesn't help around the house - he lives a very sad sort of life. I don't get involved because it's not really my place nor my issue, but [b]rest assured my boyfriend and I both keep ourselves at a distance as much as we can[/b].

The brother refuses to get help or advocate for himself, as do his parents.[/quote]

No, your boyfriend does not keep himself at a distance if he drives this guy around.  I'm just pointing this out because if you get married, you are looking at a lifetime of this.  If you and your boyfriend can TRULY separate yourselves from this enabling behavior, you might have a shot.  Boyfriend needs to say, "I love you, {brother},  but you need professional help. I think that driving you to practice is preventing you from understanding how much help you need.  If you need a ride to the therapist, let me know, but I will not drive you anywhere else."

Now, I know that anxiety is a very real thing, and needs to be dealt with professionally.  But driving him around is ENABLING.  He has NO MOTIVATION to try to better himself with therapy and possibly medication, since he gets what he wants without any trouble.  [/quote]

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