Reply to Strong willed, Stubborn, or on the spectrum

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[quote=Anonymous]My dd is 6 now and has definitely had some major meltdowns.  Usually involving not getting her way.  In her case though, she hardly ever calms down on her own.  I had tried leaving her to calm down.  She cried 45 minutes straight one time because she wanted to watch a show before bed.  I don't know how long it could have gone on, but I finally told my dh to play her a damn show.  We ended up showing her a different one.  Self-diagnosing my dd - she has negative persistence.  What I learned from that was to not let her try to calm herself because that seems impossible for her. Instead, I re-direct her attention.  Most often, I have to put on a movie or show.  Sometimes I let her play a game on my iphone or distract her with talk about an upcoming birthday or Christmas.  This may seem like giving in and creating a brat, but I know my dd is not capable of calming herself, so I have to redirect.  At 6 though she has a lot fewer tantrums than she did at 3 or 4.

I remember one time she was 3, and she wanted a purple popsicle.  Well damn it, we had orange and red but no purple, she cried and cried and cried about it.  There was just no solution.  I can't even remember how I ever got her to stop crying.  The next day, one of my neighbors asked me what was wrong with my dd that he felt so sorry that she was crying.  I told him that I didn't have the right color of popsicle, and he looked at me like I was crazy.

The other thing she does is get stress induced hives.  This is a child that is also allergic to peanuts and tree nuts.  So you can imagine how much fun it is to tell dd she can't have the barbie car at the grocery store only for her to cry her head off for the next 15-20 minutes while I finish up grocery shopping only to look over and notice her face covered in hives.  Dear God, I didn't know if she accidentally ingested or touched peanuts and was going to go into anaphylaxis or what. It took several of these episodes and 2 trips to the ER to figure out that she gets hives when she is upset.  Not that that has anything to do with your situation, but I do feel for you.[/quote]

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