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Reply to "have a very obese sibling"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't really get these comments. When other loved ones engage in self-destructive behaviors, we aren't expected to stay quiet. What if her brother was an addict, or an alcoholic, or drove recklessly, or drove in a car without a seatbelt? Would she still have to keep her mouth shut? Of course not - so why is this different? [/quote] I would like to hear more comments about this position, because I agree with it completely. Virtually any other self-destructive behavior that loved ones engage in will bring about conversations, interventions, family meetings, you name it. Weight is the one taboo. Guess what, though... it DOES affect other people. It's not just about the brother who is obese. So why can't we talk about it?[/quote] Oh, please, does it really impact OP's life? Or is it just a subtle, not-so-subtle-really attempt at one upmanship? No, obesity is not like alcoholism, drug addiction or second hand smoke. OP gets a not-to-subtle ego trip out of all of this, which is why, if OP really cares, she'll step back, not judge, like on her brother with compassion and MYOB![/quote] Is it really so hard to believe that she is concerned about him? That seeing someone you love act in a way that is detrimental to his health is troubling? That doesn't "impact her life?" And how is that less of an impact on OP's life than if he was an addict? [/quote] I agree. The difference here is that there is such sensitivity over obesity, and understandably so, that sometimes those emotions cloud things. Reading back through the posts there are some posters who are working physically and medically trying to address the issue. Then there are a few who seem defensive and that's the lens through which OP is being advised. Only OP knows her motives. And if she is genuinely concerned for his health and well being then waiting for an opportunity to discuss this with him in a caring manner seems the best course. Maybe if in that same conversation she also offered to be supportive and help in any way she can that will ease things too. But OP, please be prepared that he may feel a little hurt, embarrassed, or defensive. Don't push. After the convo just be there to love, care about, and support him. [/quote] It's a sensitive subject because it really is a very personal health issue that others seem almost obligated in some way to chime in on. I can understand mentioning a suspicious mole to a person that they might not be aware of. But a person is almost always HIGHLY aware that they have a weight issue and they are often (quietly) addressing the matter themselves as best they can. If it comes up in conversation and you think you might have something helpful to suggest then go for it. But otherwise, it probably is just better to butt out. [/quote]
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