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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for the heartfelt answers from some of you.

I talked to SIL who volunteered to stay at a hotel. She mentioned she had gone through lots of therapy and help from al-anon and I can tell she has changed a lot. She was definitely his number one enabler for a long time, but she seems different and more grounded.

Basically we will see them in neutral settings for three days. I feel okay about this, and I think it's good for us to check out BIL but in a safe space where he can't endanger our kids. As for the keys, I should clarify that I don't let my kid run around with them. But she has gotten them before. I was visualizing a situation where she swiped them and BIL got to them. Also our car is parked blocks and blocks away, so it's not a situation where she could wander in an attached garage and lock herself in. I wouldn't get a "mistake" fake key because of the watch battery in the opener. She has her toys r us keys and that is usually enough.

Thanks for your help. I feel much better.[/quote]OP, great news!  So glad you talked to SIL and she has changed.  So glad you worked something out where you could have a nice visit and not feel stressed with worry.  You rock, OP!  We can all learn from you.[/quote]

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