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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Try to take her out once while she is here with just you and her - get a manicure, go to lunch, stop at Georgetown cupcakes or some other cupcake shop. Do it early in the visit. Let her know you are happy she is spending time with you guys and communicate that through actions as well as words. [/b]

And FYI - she might have some sullen looks! That is what 13 is all about.

No chores, treat her as a guest. Its only 3 weeks and it sounds like she doesn't get to see dad all that much. Make sure she has some daddy daughter time carved out without you and your son. She may be a little jealous he is with dad all the time (totally normal).

-Stepmom[/quote]

I agree with this advice. I may be reading your post incorrectly but you seem quite ambivalent about her visit. However, if all goes well with your marriage, you will be a part of her life for the long haul. Get to know her and establish your own positive relationship with her. I had the privilege of being a stepdaughter to two lovely women with whom I enjoyed terrific relationships. They were friendly and kind and took an interest in me personally, even once their own children arrived on the scene (I have lots of half siblings). Whenever I came over they seemed genuinely happy to see me and that made me feel part of the family. They took the time to share their interests with me as well as indulge my own. While my father was a crappy husband (picked good wives but couldn't keep them), they didn't take it out on me and I remain quite appreciative of their efforts to make sure my childhood was as happy and comfortable as possible.

As for your stepdaughter's relationship with your son, he is young and that relationship will change as he becomes more interesting as a person. My first half sibling was born when I was 12. I thought he was totally cute and I loved to see him but I remember getting bored really quickly. I always thought of him as the best form of teenage birth control. Today, he's my favorite brother.

I hope you have a great three weeks. [/quote]

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