Reply to Depression - Is it a cop out?

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[quote=Anonymous]what a thread title.  what a load of crap responses too.  of course "depression" isn't a cop out.  it's a diagnosis and not one you can just "decide" to get over.  but patients can, frequently, get over it.  it takes time, compassion and often medical attention.

and yes, there are quite a lot of depressed people who refuse to do anything about it.  it generates feelings of hopelessness so that they "feel" that a solution isn't possible and that no one could possibly understand.  
(even if they know otherwise.)  they dump on their families and their friends and sometimes their kids too.  depression is toxic, and it is selfish for the sick person to do nothing about it (just as it would be selfish for them to leave a curable cancer untreated because they're so sick and the treatment is so tiring). one of the reasons untreated depression can be so devastating is because it contaminates those relationships that should be healing and drives loved ones away.

of course, generally, the appropriate response from a compassionate partner is not venting about what an asshole the sick person is on an anonymous internet forum.  come up with a new solution, OP.  as the partner of someone who suffers from depression, i know how difficult it can be for the partner (who ends up the caretaker).  it's hard not to think of the sick person as an asshole.  because they're constantly dumping on you and never supporting you.  divorce crossed my mind more than once during the dark periods.  take some time to take care of yourself first.  then remind yourself of how wonderful your wife can be when she is well.  and figure out how best to get her well.  talk to her about its effect on you and the kids.  if she's on a treatment program, talk to her about how its going, how to get the most out of it.  help her keep track of taking meds, offer to exercise with her, etc.  above all, don't consult the internet.  seriously.  if you need medical advice, consult a doctor.  if you need coping strategies, and don't have good resources on that front, perhaps make an appointment with a therapist yourself.[/quote]

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