Reply to 17 y/o's best friend smokes pot with parents... help!

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Reply to "17 y/o's best friend smokes pot with parents... help!"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think many of you are focusing too such on the pot and missing the wider dynamic.  Yes, most kids experiment and its not entirely a bad thing -- they learn their limits while under your roof.  HOWEVER, this should not be encouraged by parents, only recognized.  I recommend Wendy Mogel's Lessons of a B-.  She uses the Colbert term "truthiness" to describe her advice about parents and experimentation.  Let your child know there are limits --because all teens need limits -- and that this is not something you condone, while recognize that they will go ahead and experiment anyway.  Talk to them about safety because ultimately that is the biggest concern.

But thats not really the issue here.  The issue here is twofold: OP's DD is showing signs of depression.  This is not something that will go away on its own and pot will make it worse.  Its fine to gab about how pot is just fine for most kids but OP's DD is not most kids -- she's a very vulnerable kid and the pot is going to make the situation worse.

Second, the other father is showing a shocking lack of boundaries which is a big red flag.  He's a creep, and you have to wonder about the other ways in which he might not have boundaries.  This is absolutely a situation in which OP's DD must be protected.

Finally, OP has issues of her own with respect to her DD.  She is too invested in their friendship and in wanting her DD to have friends so that she isn't setting the proper boundaries of her own.  All of this is understandable but OP has lost sight of the ways in which she is accommodating her DD's unhealthy situation rather than trying to change it.  Both need professional support.[/quote]

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