Reply to My sister has asked me for money. What would you do?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]OP here. It is relevant that some of these problems are her fault, because I think my sister doesn't realize her own culpability in all this, and that she is still going to blame others for her own screw ups.
 
For example, if I were in her situation right now, I would be finding an apartment, and figuring out a way to pay for it, or exactly how much it's going to run me for 6 months or a year. Or I would know exactly how much I owe an attorney and how I can get this done as quickly as possible. Or I would be getting free legal aid or going to a women's shelter. My sister is vague about all these things. [/quote]

Ok, you are a more responsible and capable person than her.  But what difference does it make?  Either you are willing to help her or you aren't.  How is it going to make her situation better to be wiped out further financially in the divorce?  It won't help her get an apartment or provide for her kids. How is it going to help the kids if her ex, who you say is a horrible person, gets custody?  Re free legal aid, you previously said that she would not qualify.  She can certainly go to a women's shelter if she can't afford an apt., can't get family help, and friends will not continue to allow her to stay with them.  But if it were me, I'd explore the other options first.  If she is able to get custody, I don't think it would be good for your nices/nephews to be living in a shelter.  Isn't part of the need for an attorney to separate their assets so that she can afford an apt. again?

Clearly, you don't want to lend her the money.  It is your money, and your right not to do it.  You have asked what others would do.  I'd lend/give the money.[/quote]

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